Need Clarity on a Settlement Proposal? Try This Tool
Emotions run high throughout a high-conflict divorce, and the process of looking at your marriage through the lens of money, as you must reach a settlement with your ex, magnifies everything.
The numbers in themselves are neutral—this is what’s in the bank, this is how much the house is worth, here’s the pension. But the matter of how the assets and belongings of your life together will be divided is anything but. Settlement numbers represent what each of you thinks is fair, and people tend to read them as a representation of their personal worth and value.
The numbers and the settlement offer in front of you can swim in front of you on that sea of emotions, and just when you need the most clarity, you can lose track of both the big picture and the details.
That’s why I recommend that you use the best tool I know for stepping onto solid ground and getting a calm, informed look at whether the settlement offer works for you: Spreadsheets.
You don’t need to get fancy to get the benefit
If the word “spreadsheet” makes you feel instantly overwhelmed, don’t worry. You don’t have to be an Excel expert to set up a useful one. I’ll give you the basics here, and also, in this quick video), I’ll walk you through setting up a simple sheet if you’ve never done it before.
Just six simple columns will give you a strong starting point. That’s enough to let you enter the details for each asset you’re working to claim for yourself or divide. The column labels are fairly self-explanatory.
Label the far left column Marital Assets; the columns next to it will fill in the details.
Column 2 is Exhibits, and that’s where you’ll list any documents that support your position on that asset, for instance, docs that show you brought it into the marriage or agreed in a prenup to split it equally.
Column 3 is for Known Value.
Column 4 can be labeled Wife or Plaintiff or with your name; use it to designate whom the asset belongs to (or whatever this is used for)
Column 5 for your ex, and you can label it Husband or Defendant or with their name.
Column 6 is for comments. This is a great place to write notes, and you can enter as much text as you like. If you do, you’ll make the sheet much easier to read if you format the text with Word Wrap or Shrink Text to keep the text from filling a wide column across the page. (See instructions for doing this in the step-by-step video here)
That’s the basic setup, and if you think there’s another column for another kind of information that would help you get an at-a-glance snapshot of the marital estate, feel free to add it.
It’s helpful to learn to format your spreadsheet so you can color code rows to spot items in the same category or those you want to highlight for discussion. The point is to give yourself easy access to the information you need most instead of having to dig for it. And if you’re one of those who find it relaxing to play with the aesthetics of something like a spreadsheet, go for it.
How to spreadsheet
If you’re new to spreadsheets, let me talk you through a simple version that many of my clients, even the tech and math-averse ones, have quickly learned to use. What you’re doing here is categorizing all the relevant financial information for the settlement in a way that strips away extra words and stories and makes the numbers pop.
Here’s how to do it on Google Sheets:
On the Google Sheets site, click “Blank Spreadsheet” under “Start a new spreadsheet” to open a fresh document. Name it by clicking “Untitled Spreadsheet” and giving the doc a name.
Now click on the first box of the sheet, the column named A and row marked 1 and begin to label the columns. I suggest starting with 6 columns.
In that first box, A1, type Marital Assets, which will become the label for the whole column. This column is where you’ll list each of your assets, one by one. If you’re listing an account number, just use the last four digits, x0000.
Tab over to the next column, and in box B1, type Exhibits. Use this column to list any documents that support your position for the asset.
Tab to the next column, C1, and label it Known Value. This column is for the known value of the asset. Real numbers are best, but you can also write “at least [X amount]” or Unknown.
Tab to the next column D1, and label it Wife (or Plaintiff or your name) to mark assets that belong to you.
Tab to the next column #1, and label it Husband (or Defendant or your name) , to designate assets that belong to your spouse.
And finally, in the last column F1, write the label Comments. This column will be a good place to write notes. Each cell in the chart will accommodate any amount of text, and to make that text easy to read, a helpful trick is to wrap the text. In Google Sheets, it works like this. Tap the letter at the top of the column, in this case F, and the whole column will be selected. Now click Format (you’ll find the button for that under the spreadsheet’s title). In the pull-down Format menu, rest your cursor on Wrapping, and from the choices that become visible, select Wrap. Now the text in every box in that column will wrap, so it stays in a single cell.
Formatting/organizing trick one: It’s useful to group entries in categories like Business interests, Banking Accounts, and Non-Retirement accounts. To create an open space across the chart for labels like that, select all the cells across a row by shifting as you click on the cells. Go to format and select merge cells, choosing the “merge horizontally” option. Type your label in the merged space.
Another quick formatting trick you might find handy: Shift-click on the top left cell of the chart, A. The whole chart will be selected. Click on Format to get the formatting menu, and choose Alternating Colors, which is near the bottom of the list. Among the options that appear alongside the chart, when you do that, you’ll see “Apply to range.” Type in A:E; that will format the whole chart. Below that, you’ll see Default styles. Click on the color choices to see them applied to your spreadsheet. Go wild with Custom Styles if you like, or stick to the easy defaults. When you find a style you like, click the green Done button.